So I’ve lost the renewed script for my adhd meds

If that’s not ironic I can’t tell you what is

The younger of the two kids I babysit has just started potty training
So ofc right as I’m leaving he pees on the floor and I step
Right
In
It

752322:

mga2:

752322:

i have never seen a nipple in my entire life.

step one: lift up shirt

2) look dwon 

3) nipple

holy shit.. holy Fucking shit what the fuck is that

seerofsarcasm:

persystella:

groot is probs assumed to be male but tbh i figure groot is a lil genderless being. who needs the gender binary when you’re a celestial tree creature. riddle me that.

"Are you a boy, or a girl?"
"I am Groot."

captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

debilitati0n:

bettervillains:

life-at-taco-bell:

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

  

The elderly are either adorable or the wrinkly reincarnation of Satan there is no in between

  • 16 year old child: mom, dad: I'm gay/lesbian/bi/pan
  • Straight parents: you're too young to know what your sexuality is! It's just a phase.
  • Baby boy: *stares at a baby girl for no reason other than the fact that babies stare at everything*
  • Straight parents: oooh! Ladies man! We're gonna have to keep the girls offa you!

raideo:

mamamantis:

sssibilance:

yourpersonalcheerleader:

linrenzo:

videohall:

Baby laughing while getting shots

> Rock star doctor.

I don’t care how old he will be I’m taking my future children to him

My heart!

That person is in the right field!  So many pediatricians are terrible with children; you can tell this person LOVES children and taking care of them.

that is absolutely incredible what the hell

oh my god my heart can’t take it

crystal-gems:

princesssilverglow:

Well I was always pretty sure that’s the case but it’s interesting to get it confirmed!

Gems are Gems! 
(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

crystal-gems:

princesssilverglow:

Well I was always pretty sure that’s the case but it’s interesting to get it confirmed!

Gems are Gems! 

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

commandersheena:

In one of my film classes last semester we had to tell a story in 3 pictures for a mini assignment so my friend and I did this

dsogdsg:

sqvad:

trashylittlefuck:

women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego

this post is stupid as hell

case in point 

catshops:

someday i hope my ocs can be someones fave character. that’d b cool

autisticqueermihashi:

piratecoves:

poopflow:

people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked with

i used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in my fucking throat please take your pills with water kiddies it’s worth it

HOLY SHIT OKAY

Seriously has anybody considered lesbian dragons it’s like two of the best things ever what could be better

titan